Monday, January 31, 2011

Seeking Him

Today is the last day in January.  Wow!  I hope the next year keeps on moving. 

While we are trying to enjoy our two year tour here in Korea, we are also struggling.  I have encouraged women in the past that the Army may cut the orders, but it’s God who ordains our steps….but at this moment in my life, I am struggling to believe that statement.

Except for the little ones who really don’t know better, the rest of us are having a hard time.  I must say that I feel God is stretching us in ways that we have not been stretched before.  As my husband and I laid in bed last night talking about our struggles here in Korea, I was reminded that we are on a journey in life.  Sometime we are on the top of the mountain, while other times we are in the valley.  Right now, I feel like I am in the valley.

Things here are so very different than at our last duty station.  I think that if we had come to Korea first, I would have been inclined to tell Angel that we made a bad decision to join the Army.  In Texas, we had a strong Chaplain Spouse support group.  The women in my “coffee group” were my encouragement and strength, especially in the midst of a deployment.   Here, I finally received an invite to a coffee after being here for 7 months and couldn’t attend because of the location.

Our previous units were strong with FRG, making sure the information went out and Officer’s wives coffee groups.  Here the FRG is a baby, information is hard to get and there are only 50 families in our unit that are here in Korea.  The rest of the soldiers are single or have been assigned to a one year tour without their families.

I am learning that sometimes I need to learn to depend on God alone…not my coffee group, or spouses’ group or FRG.  Christ needs to be the constant in my life.  The first one I turn to when I am struggling or having a bad day.  I need to focus on the positive things instead of all the negatives ones that seem to overwhelm me here.  I need to show an attitude of gratitude, especially around my children.  If they continually see me complaining, they will follow suit.

 I need to surrender it all to the Lord.  To draw my strength from Him.  To allow Him to work in and through me.  And yes, change me, if need be.  That’s a hard thing to say.  Change me Lord.  So many times we want to change our circumstances or other people, but sometimes it’s us that needs to be changed.

So if you are struggling with life.  Feeling like you are in the valley.  That your prayers are bouncing off of the heavens.  Let this be a time to reflect, to trust Him even more, to let Him change you.

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