Sunday, June 19, 2011

My thoughts

Since we’ve been back in the states, everyone asks how we like Korea and my response has been, it’s ok.  The older girls are frequently asked, “Do you like Korea?” and their response usually is, “not really”.  I began to reflect on our responses.  Have I in some part been negative?  Am I influencing my children in a way that is not positive?  And then it hit me.

Angel had been home from his yearlong tour to Iraq for one month when he received orders to go to Korea.  His report date was only 90 days later.  And while we he had 30 days leave, as soon as we got back to Texas from our vacation, we were in full force to make an international move.  Appointments to be made, information to be searched, things to be sorted.  We did not have time to reintegrate our family from deployment.
To top it off, I had a miscarriage the week the packers and movers arrived.  The girls and I went to PA to visit family for a month before the big move and then we had to wait for my husband to find housing in Korea before we were able to join him, another month later.

Add to that the stress of a new culture, lifestyle, language and all that goes along with moving overseas.  By the time I was beginning to get comfortable, BAM….culture shock hit.  I struggled with living in Korea and only did what I needed to survive each day.  I stopped the routines that I had established before the move…baking fresh bread, exercising and doing things for personal growth.  I did not have the same support system in Korea that I had while in Texas, such as a strong FRG, chaplain spouses’ group and homeschooling neighbors.  I felt alone.
By this time North Korea was acting up and we did not know whether or not the next day or hour would mean we would be evacuated.  It was a trying time during the holidays.

I was counting down the days until my mom would arrive.  And while I had a wonderful time with my parents, I was wishing I was back in the states.  Angel and I had talked about whether or not the girls and I should return stateside and stay there for the remainder of his tour.  Every day I would go back and forth…it was a good idea, it was a bad idea.
At this point, we have decided that no matter how hard things may be in Korea, at least we will weather the storm together.  I am determined that when we move from Korea next Spring, that my response will not be, “it was OK”, but that I will be able  to sincerely say that we have really enjoyed our time there.

I hope our family reintegrates better during these next 10 months, then we had done the previous year.  I know that God is faithful.  I recognize that it’s the prayers of the body of Christ that gets me through the tough times.  BUT I am determining in my heart that I will THRIVE, not just survive the remainder of Angel’s tour in Korea.

1 comment:

Cami said...

That is a great post Nicole. I sure wish we could have stayed longer. I sure enjoyed being your neighbor. I hope we will be on the same post again some day!