Friday, November 7, 2008

A bit emotional

Lately, I have been a bit emotional. Maybe it's because we are on the verge of our first deployment...maybe it's because the holidays are approaching and I haven't seen family (except for a visit from my parents in May) since last December....whatever the case, I have been crying a bit more than usual (normally I don't cry). It's easy to "know" something...meaning to have knowledge of it...but to really KNOW about something describes one who is going through it, wrestling with and or has gone through it. I think when we decided for Angel to make the career move to the military, there was a lot of excitement and anticipation. I knew that we would move away from family, start fresh every few years, and even have to go through a deployment...I was ok with that, but the reality has hit home. I am 1500 miles from my family. I can't just get in the car and go out to lunch with my mom or invite my sister and her family over for dinner anymore. My husband will be gone for a year and I will be a single parent....though happily married.

I know that people are praying and will continue to pray for me and my family. I really appreciate that and covet your prayers. I am learning each day to trust God even more than before...many times during my devotional time the song comes to mind....

"I need you more...more than yesterday...I need you more...more than words can say...I need you more...than ever before...I need you Lord...I need you Lord"

I don't know about you but I am struggling right now. Part of me wants to run back to PA and have my family around while Angel is gone...while another part of me knows that my family (Angel, me and the girls) has a home in Texas where we have been living for the past year. I don't think there is a right and wrong decision about what to do during a deployment but I feel like that's what I have made it into...a right or wrong.

I am going to stick with my inital decision to stay in Texas and trust that God will give me the extra grace that I will need to get through. I don't want to just survive a deployment...but I want to THRIVE. God wants more for us that just to make it through our circumstances, He wants to use our circustances as opportunites for us to grow, in faith and character. To trust Him more and to walk with Him closer than before.

I am a mess this week...but I will be fine. I trust God and His promises that are found in His Word, the Bible. I have told my Bible study class that when they are going through something to go to the Word and find scriptures that lift them up and encourage them...and to write these scriptures on notecards and post them around their house. I think I need to take some of my own advice.

Gotta run and make some notecards. I pray that you are blessed by God and can have eyes of faith for whatever you are going through today.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Saw your blog, I will be praying for you with the upcoming deployment. Did you say you were on Facebook? We are on there as well. Our email is God Bless,
Tonya Nelson